Pattern Coaching.
A Human Design reading can be a useful starting point for this work. Your Human Design chart maps the energetic architecture you were born with — how you are designed to make decisions, where you are consistent and where you are susceptible to conditioning, what your authentic strategy looks like versus the patterns you have adopted to fit in. Understanding your design does not tell you what to do. But it can name things that have always been true about you, and give them a language. That language makes the coaching work faster and deeper.
You do not need to be in a relationship to benefit from pattern coaching. The patterns are in you — in what you keep choosing, what you keep avoiding, what you want but cannot quite name, what you say you want but somehow never seem to be able to get.
Working from the pattern language developed here, we look together at what is actually present — not what should be, not what you think you ought to want, but what is genuinely moving in you and what is getting in the way. This is not therapy. It is design work: deliberate, honest, and grounded in who you actually are.
The lens of the patterns can be turned on anything. The person who keeps attracting the same dynamic without knowing why. The one who cannot say what they want in a relationship — let alone how to look for it. Someone navigating polyamory who loses themselves in the complexity and cannot find the words for what they need or where their limits are. Pleasing tendencies that have outlived their usefulness. Victimhood as a structural position that once made sense and now does not. The gap between what you say you want and what you keep choosing. Whatever is present — the patterns give it a name, a context, and a direction.
Pattern coaching is available for individuals, couples, and small groups. With or without kink. Online or in person. The patterns are the map — you decide which territory we explore.
What is available
Intake
freeA first conversation to get to know each other and to understand what is present for you. No obligation, no agenda. We look together at whether and how I can be of use — and whether the match feels right for both of us.
Single Session
€100 · 60 minA focused session around a specific pattern, question, or situation. Useful when you know what you want to look at and need a clear-eyed companion for the looking. We use the language of patterns as a lens — naming what is present, finding where it connects, and identifying what might shift.
Pattern Coaching Trajectory
€750 · 5 × 90 minFor anyone who senses that something keeps repeating — a dynamic they keep entering, a need they cannot name, a desire they cannot quite reach, a limit they keep hitting without knowing why. Whether the pattern is already half-visible and waiting to be named, or still entirely unearthed. You do not need to already understand it. You just need to be willing to look.
Over five sessions of ninety minutes — preceded by a free intake — we use the lens of the pattern language to make visible what is actually present. What is the pattern? Where does it come from? What is it protecting, or reaching for? How does it connect to the rest of what you are carrying? And what becomes available when it has been named clearly enough to work with?
You do the writing. I ask the questions. What emerges is a pattern in your own words — not a diagnosis, not a prescription, but a precise and honest description of something real in you. Something you can return to, work with, and build from.
People leave this trajectory with language for things they previously could only feel. A clear and owned description of what matters to them — for themselves first, and from there, available to bring into a relationship, a dynamic, a negotiation, a new beginning. Something that was running quietly underneath, now named and held.
One opens to five. That is already a pattern.
Start with the intake. It costs nothing and commits you to nothing. Send me a few sentences about where you are and what you are looking for.
info@kinkofthenorth.comWant to explore the language that makes this work possible?
Explore the pattern language →